plz talk dirty to me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
