I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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