im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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