I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
