she smelled like a LAN party
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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