Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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