It's like a parade of train wrecks.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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