at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
