So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
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I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
What drink are we having for lunch?
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We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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