I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
