My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Congratulations! We have a period
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
