these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
