Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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