Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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