Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
