I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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