I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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