Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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