She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
