her vagine was all disorganized.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
