I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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