I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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