We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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