I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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