I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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