He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
