She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Text me some of your sweat
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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