So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
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So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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