oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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