I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
