i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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