you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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