Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
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It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
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I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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