Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I believe in your delicious
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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