Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize