So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
