i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
