It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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