Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Randomize
