Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
