Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
