her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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