Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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