Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
