It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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