Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
