wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i think i have two assholes
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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