I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
