She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
