btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
