she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
