He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
