I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
