Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize