Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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