he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
