he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
