woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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