So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
