drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize