apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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