the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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